College Bikers And Their Fancy Rides #NOPES

During my first year at college I was so excited about my college life that I decided to stay at hostel for the whole year though my college was barely a 30 minutes drive from home. I used to stay with my parents at an apartment in a seven storey building located at the heart of a busy city, a city that start its life as early morning at 6:00 am and goes to sleep even before birds flew back to their nests in the evening. And I really hated these, both the parts where cars starts their honkings before the Sun is up and all the city going blank even before sun goes down( You literally won't be able to find any shops open after 7:30 pm). There was actually no night life in this city, it would look like a haunted town at night.

*Fair warning, please don't fell offended if you did any of the acts that I am going to mention as stupid stuff because we all do these kind of things at least once in our life time(more than once actually) and I don't think it's that much of a deal. Besides this post is for your entertainment purpose only, to make you smile and happy at heart so try to read and laugh through it if you have done any of these retarded stuffs and if you really feel offended think of  OP as a big looser at life and all he does is shit on other peoples way of life.

So when I went to see my hostel for the first time, I was really happy about the fact that the hostel was located in a hilly area and the place looked very calm and peace full. To an engineering student/any other male stoner students out there, this setting means a lot(calm full and lonely  places are best for smoking) though that was not the concern for my happiness. So these all meant ciao to my fucked up boisterous city.

Still every morning at hostel I used to wake up not hearing the crowing of a rooster(as I thought it would be at this beautiful place) but some dump asses bike roaring like the massive fart noise of a person with diarrhea. These sounds could be heard from early morning on wards. Even the slightest sound of my alarm made me feel like throwing it against the wall. I always enjoy my "last hour" comfortable sleep before a long boring day at college listening to lectures and I certainly don't want to be disturbed from my comfy bed by these fart noises of bikes, for nay who ever destroys my "Last Hours of sleep" will be cursed to death by me. It was like I wanted the bike to explode at that moment and kill the owner or whoever that was idling the bike.

Like any other guys  I also enjoy the 'VROOM VROOM' sweet sound coming from the exhausts of a sports bike or car and it's something that actually turns me on and I could even masturbate to these noises. But the poor lads at my college who tried the best to make their 125cc bikes sound like those sports bike by installing akrapovic or yoshimura exhausts but end up getting fart noises. Though this is not what they wanted, at the end they feel satisfied with it. Actually when I see these kind of bikes I kinda feel sorry for both the bike and its owner rather than looking at the bike like its some sort of attention grabbing 'thing'.

Even more fun is to see these things at college with all Cartoon Network stickers all over and k&n air filter which actually doesn't add up to performance even by a bit but gives the sound you require. Those puny little green exhausts gives you the wanting fart noise and attention you need.

Actually why these lads do all these, like we all do is to grab some attention to their bike. And yes lads you have actually succeeded in it though not the way you expected. When they see you revving your fart noise machines, most of peoples whos attention you have grabbed will be saying "look at that idiot with his fart bike that probably his parents payed for", at least I will. 

The next step of these 'attention grabbing fart bikers' is to grab more attention by doing stunts or burnouts in public. In my college, what ever be the function going on be it St Patrick's Day or Independence day or whatever significant day it is, there will always be some college students gathering in front of the college gate to perform their stunts, burnouts and revving. The stunts were a real amazement to watch as long as they were geared up or wore at the least a helmet(Safety riding guys). Actually if they wore those how would everyone else see it was them who did all this cool stuff(grabbing attention), so we should think from all perspectives, sorry my bad that I didn't. The burnouts I didn't actually enjoy, all the rubber smoke and tires being ruined(who cares, its not my parents that are paying for these tires). And the revving thing at last was one of the idiotic things they do, idling their machines to red line to give those loud fart noises and flame bursts(exactly like going to toilet after a real spicy food). I wonder what these idiots have learned from their Internal Combustion Engine classes. Revving to the red line is not good for the engine and could at some point seize the engine which means start saving and search for a new engine for your machine. Every time I see these stupid revving event, I feel like showing the red hot exhaust pipe of the bike down the rider guys throat.

Message to all sensible college bike riders out there, I know its all fun and guy things to customize bikes and all, I also really enjoy doing all these but please don't do any thing that will make your bike produce fart noises. Plus riding a bike all geared up and with a helmet on looks more cool and awesome than ones with not even a helmet. Gearing up is like bat suiting up. 

I can assure you that

this or

this looks way more hotter than 

these!

So always wear a helmet and if affordable try out riding gear. And always go for a full faced helmet(especially ladies out there whom all seems to wear half faced helmets) for it's all for your own sake and safety. Your face won't be looking that good once you get a kiss from the road.

We all like to pimp or customize our machines, but know your machine, how it works, what more does it need before begin to tamper with it. Just because your friend with a 650 hp ninja got a LeoVince exhaust and you think it sounds awesome doesn't mean that it will give the same result on your 150 cc bike.So learn about all the aftermarket products out there and do a lot of research before you fuck up your machine with fart noises. 

Though 'Bikes' almost rhymes with 'Bikini', I don't know how much ladies dig into bikes, as far as I know none at my college does. There may be ones who are out there but if you doing all these on your bike for the sake of attention of a lass, I don't think it won't help you even by 10%.  Still it depends on your social skills - grabbing the attention of a lass and there is nothing your bike can do for you there.

After reading all this call me a butthurt if you want, for taking rage on all poor college bikers out there just because I am pissed off at my parents for not buying me a bike. Well actually not, I am trying to talk some sense into these kind of bikers and about my parents, I don't like my parents to buy me stuff that costs more than my annual college fees. Still they are cool with me and lets me use their car when I am in need and I am more of a car guy at the moment though bike is the first thing I want to buy for myself when I get a job that pays good. Plus there is a thing with my parents, if I convince them into buying me anything that is worth more than 150 dollars ~ 10,000 rs I am gonna have a bad time using it. There were two instances: I had always been a fan of Sony PlayStation Consoles, back when the first Sony PSP was released(that was during my summer holidays at the time of the year where I will be staying with my dad at his work place away from home), after days of fighting and crying my dad bought me one and told me that I could only use it during summer vacations when I came to his place and that I couldn't take it to home. The same thing happened when I bought another console last year and both of them right now is at my dads place. 

So to all good guy bikers out there, drive safely and always wear a helmet if possible gears too and please don't follow the main stream hype bikers with their loud fart noisy bikes because you ought to be different from them. The main thing about driving/riding on the road is GIVE RESPECT TO OTHERS AND YOU TOO WILL GET RESPECTED (you can apply this in your life too)