Teens And Their Fabulous Gadgets #NOPES

SMARTPHONES! FACEBOOK! WHATSAPP! INSTAGRAM! SNAPCHAT! SELFIESSS!

These are the talk of the decade.

2015, year in which you won't be able to find a single person owning a mobile phone that is not a smart ass. Smartphones are more affordable than ever before and it's really a good thing, smartphones for everyone. Stay online on the go, and lots and lots of other crazy stuff that your phone company says it can do to make you lazy tard than ever before. And the cool apps on your phone that lets you stay connected with strangers and gives you a self satisfaction that you are leading a perfect social life making good conversations with other people who haven't seen you in real life nor give a fuck about you or your concerns.

***Fair warning, please don't fell offended if you did any of the acts that I am going to mention as stupid stuff because we all do these kind of things at least once in our life time(more than once actually) and I don't think it's that much of a deal. Besides this post is for your entertainment purpose only, to make you smile and happy at heart so try to read and laugh through it if you have done any of these retarded stuffs and if you really feel offended think of  OP as a big looser at life and all he does is shit on other peoples way of life***

Me like any other teenager was also addicted to smartphones and all these social networks. But for the past few weeks I don't see the point in it anymore. All I use the social sites is to stalk on other people or to build up my ego. Messaging services, I don't even use much. The only messages I receive is from the WhatsApp groups of my college, other than that nothing. Its mainly because I am one fucked up person with very shitty social interacting skills plus I don't feel like communicating with others or making new connections. I think I have reached the maximum limit of my laziness that I am now trying to avoid interactions with other people and thanks to my phone for that. During awkward situations of being left alone with a person or unknown group how I avoid any conversation is by sinking my head deep into my phones screen. I don't know how I became like this but I have always been like this, I like to go movies alone, go for rides alone, likes to do every fucking thing all alone. I was so wanting to be alone that whenever I had to go to market when I was a kid and had to take my sister along with me I either made lame excuses to my mom or tell my sister that there will be child traffickers at the market who will take her away and sell to other people. I always liked to be left alone and still does and it rules for me!

Well the stuff that made me like this up to an extent is this whole new age gadgets and internet sites that lets you be in a virtual world without being bothered by real world. Well these smart things though makes your life faster and easier can also fuck up your life up to an extent if you don't use it wisely. So lately I decided to try it different. I am no more using my social accounts nor my online messaging services like whatsapp and I also switched my smartphone for a simple flip phone that does basic phone calls and SMS. It has been one week since I had been trying this out and so far the only set back for me was that I couldn't listen to music or watch movies on my flip phone when I was away from home. However the listening to music problem was fixed with my ipod shuffle. It's really great so far and am really enjoying the simplicity. Besides I enjoy blogging on my PC.

Well apart from the 'Go simple and basic' thing, you can keep yourselves away from these Nopes

NOPE #1: don't get over obsessed with your phone

The first time I saw a person getting over obsessed with phone was with one my friends. I was the first one in my friends circle to own a smartphone. Since then I always forced my friends to tell their parents to by them one too so that we could IM each other over internet without the need of SMS that costed all of us a lot per message. At last one of them got a smartphone and then we all saw the change in him. He used to be the guy who never closed his mouth always blurting out jokes and stories was now silent as a stone. Even if we asked something it would take a while for him to get our attention and take his eyes from his phone and respond to us. It got even much worse when he began playing a MMORPG on his phone. He no longer came to class, sat home playing his role playing games on his phone boosting up his levels in the game. It got much worse that at last I felt like grabbing and smashing his phone on the floor but that's when I realized that I was also like him. At home I never talked with my parents not even during dinner time. Right from when I got up in morning I will have my earphones plugged in and eyes on my phone for the rest of the day. I had to experience it for my self to know how much my mom and dad would have felt annoyed at times by me like I felt with my friends behavior. 

This is a regular siting that you can see frequently these days. So don't get over attached with you phones at least when you are around people. Try having fun time with your friends by having actual conversation setting aside your phones in your pocket. Use your phone only when necessary for things like for making or receiving calls and replying to important texts.

NOPE #2: what was it like before facebook and twitter?

I always thought how it was like before all these social sites made our social life easier being able to talk to a 100 people at the same time. Back before all these kind of websites existed if you had to talk to a person you had to actually move your arse and do something physically. Now a days if you want to meet a new person especially a lase, all you need to do is search for his/her account on these websites and send them a friend request or follow them, simple as that. No actual effort has to be made like gaining all confidence to approach  that person to know more about or get that persons phone number, all you have to do now is wait for that person to accept your request or follow back and boom your work starts, easy & simple as that. There is no fun in that kind of making new acquaintance. If you get over addicted to this it could ruin your life. So when you are around real people, trying having a chat with them in person instead doing spy works on finding their name so that you can go home and search them upon these social sites. But sadly once you are in this part of internet it's really hard to quit from this obsession or addiction.

Snapchat is only starting to become a thing at my place. About 40% of my friends use snapchat and they all use it thinking its super safe and that this app will provide all the anonymity and privacy they require. Actually it's not. The snapchat app iteslf is a big lie, it keeps record of all files that you send to another person and what it provides you is only perceived anonymity and privacy. What ever data you upload or download, even if you delete it, will still be surfing on the vast internet, because once it is posted online whatever service be it, it's no more private. Get this fact too, even if you use fake names and proxies, don't think it will save you from troubles because that's not how the whole network system works.

NOPE #3: stick those selfies up your arssess......and those stick of yours too

Selfies has been the thing for the past 3-4 years and still is. Selfies, selfies, selfies everywhere, selfie when taking a piss, selfie when having food, selfie when giving birth to a baby, its selfie mania. Am soon expecting a selfie of a baby from inside the womb.....or may be it has already happened, who knows. With all the gadgets available these days anything is practically possible. Every day my facebook feeds are filled with a bunch of posts of my friends with the description "my first selfie with my pet/family/random stuff/*insert text here*". I think selfies are also becoming an obsession in teens now.

Selfie sticks, don't even need to say. I just don't know, may be it's just me, but selfies taken with a  stick looks lame to me and so does the person using it, looks as if he is walking around with a golf stick. There is no way in hell I am gonna be using a selfie stick ever in my life nor will I be in a picture taken with one of these magic wands. If anythings going for me that will be a normal selfie.

And if you own a selfie stick please don't do moronic things with it like this

Seriously, use it only when you need to fit in more people in the frame than what your arms length will let you do. If Ellen Degeneres used a selfie stick during the 2014 oscars poor Jared Leto would have also gotten in the frame. 

I have no idea who came up with the idea of a selfie stick, may be it came as a kick starter project and got sufficient fundings and finally hit the market. And like every other products made, this was also made with a purpose - for T-Rex to take selfies on his own. 

NOPE #4: Phablets......it's a definite nope in public

Mobile phone companies like samsung and apple couldn't come up with any new useful features other than increasing the screen size during the release of their new generation smart phones. This went too far that mobile phones and tablets became almost the same thing and gave birth to a new iteration of devices known as PHABLETS, a smartphone with the size of a tablet. And I don't even need to say how much of a dweeb you will look like making phone call on that thing. If you really like using it and don't want to look like an idiot in public when making calls, try using it with headphones.

These smartphones are only getting bigger and bigger but not better and better.

Actually I am no person to say what kind of phones or gadgets you should using or not, if you enjoy using it, it's totally up to you as long as you don't give a fuck about what others think of you using a selfie stick or a big ass smartphone. Besides as I am trying this new experiment of 'going simple and basic', flip phones are awesome, when a call comes you take it.....flip it....attend the call, all in style. Flip phones to the end!

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College Bikers And Their Fancy Rides #NOPES

During my first year at college I was so excited about my college life that I decided to stay at hostel for the whole year though my college was barely a 30 minutes drive from home. I used to stay with my parents at an apartment in a seven storey building located at the heart of a busy city, a city that start its life as early morning at 6:00 am and goes to sleep even before birds flew back to their nests in the evening. And I really hated these, both the parts where cars starts their honkings before the Sun is up and all the city going blank even before sun goes down( You literally won't be able to find any shops open after 7:30 pm). There was actually no night life in this city, it would look like a haunted town at night.

*Fair warning, please don't fell offended if you did any of the acts that I am going to mention as stupid stuff because we all do these kind of things at least once in our life time(more than once actually) and I don't think it's that much of a deal. Besides this post is for your entertainment purpose only, to make you smile and happy at heart so try to read and laugh through it if you have done any of these retarded stuffs and if you really feel offended think of  OP as a big looser at life and all he does is shit on other peoples way of life.

So when I went to see my hostel for the first time, I was really happy about the fact that the hostel was located in a hilly area and the place looked very calm and peace full. To an engineering student/any other male stoner students out there, this setting means a lot(calm full and lonely  places are best for smoking) though that was not the concern for my happiness. So these all meant ciao to my fucked up boisterous city.

Still every morning at hostel I used to wake up not hearing the crowing of a rooster(as I thought it would be at this beautiful place) but some dump asses bike roaring like the massive fart noise of a person with diarrhea. These sounds could be heard from early morning on wards. Even the slightest sound of my alarm made me feel like throwing it against the wall. I always enjoy my "last hour" comfortable sleep before a long boring day at college listening to lectures and I certainly don't want to be disturbed from my comfy bed by these fart noises of bikes, for nay who ever destroys my "Last Hours of sleep" will be cursed to death by me. It was like I wanted the bike to explode at that moment and kill the owner or whoever that was idling the bike.

Like any other guys  I also enjoy the 'VROOM VROOM' sweet sound coming from the exhausts of a sports bike or car and it's something that actually turns me on and I could even masturbate to these noises. But the poor lads at my college who tried the best to make their 125cc bikes sound like those sports bike by installing akrapovic or yoshimura exhausts but end up getting fart noises. Though this is not what they wanted, at the end they feel satisfied with it. Actually when I see these kind of bikes I kinda feel sorry for both the bike and its owner rather than looking at the bike like its some sort of attention grabbing 'thing'.

Even more fun is to see these things at college with all Cartoon Network stickers all over and k&n air filter which actually doesn't add up to performance even by a bit but gives the sound you require. Those puny little green exhausts gives you the wanting fart noise and attention you need.

Actually why these lads do all these, like we all do is to grab some attention to their bike. And yes lads you have actually succeeded in it though not the way you expected. When they see you revving your fart noise machines, most of peoples whos attention you have grabbed will be saying "look at that idiot with his fart bike that probably his parents payed for", at least I will. 

The next step of these 'attention grabbing fart bikers' is to grab more attention by doing stunts or burnouts in public. In my college, what ever be the function going on be it St Patrick's Day or Independence day or whatever significant day it is, there will always be some college students gathering in front of the college gate to perform their stunts, burnouts and revving. The stunts were a real amazement to watch as long as they were geared up or wore at the least a helmet(Safety riding guys). Actually if they wore those how would everyone else see it was them who did all this cool stuff(grabbing attention), so we should think from all perspectives, sorry my bad that I didn't. The burnouts I didn't actually enjoy, all the rubber smoke and tires being ruined(who cares, its not my parents that are paying for these tires). And the revving thing at last was one of the idiotic things they do, idling their machines to red line to give those loud fart noises and flame bursts(exactly like going to toilet after a real spicy food). I wonder what these idiots have learned from their Internal Combustion Engine classes. Revving to the red line is not good for the engine and could at some point seize the engine which means start saving and search for a new engine for your machine. Every time I see these stupid revving event, I feel like showing the red hot exhaust pipe of the bike down the rider guys throat.

Message to all sensible college bike riders out there, I know its all fun and guy things to customize bikes and all, I also really enjoy doing all these but please don't do any thing that will make your bike produce fart noises. Plus riding a bike all geared up and with a helmet on looks more cool and awesome than ones with not even a helmet. Gearing up is like bat suiting up. 

I can assure you that

this or

this looks way more hotter than 

these!

So always wear a helmet and if affordable try out riding gear. And always go for a full faced helmet(especially ladies out there whom all seems to wear half faced helmets) for it's all for your own sake and safety. Your face won't be looking that good once you get a kiss from the road.

We all like to pimp or customize our machines, but know your machine, how it works, what more does it need before begin to tamper with it. Just because your friend with a 650 hp ninja got a LeoVince exhaust and you think it sounds awesome doesn't mean that it will give the same result on your 150 cc bike.So learn about all the aftermarket products out there and do a lot of research before you fuck up your machine with fart noises. 

Though 'Bikes' almost rhymes with 'Bikini', I don't know how much ladies dig into bikes, as far as I know none at my college does. There may be ones who are out there but if you doing all these on your bike for the sake of attention of a lass, I don't think it won't help you even by 10%.  Still it depends on your social skills - grabbing the attention of a lass and there is nothing your bike can do for you there.

After reading all this call me a butthurt if you want, for taking rage on all poor college bikers out there just because I am pissed off at my parents for not buying me a bike. Well actually not, I am trying to talk some sense into these kind of bikers and about my parents, I don't like my parents to buy me stuff that costs more than my annual college fees. Still they are cool with me and lets me use their car when I am in need and I am more of a car guy at the moment though bike is the first thing I want to buy for myself when I get a job that pays good. Plus there is a thing with my parents, if I convince them into buying me anything that is worth more than 150 dollars ~ 10,000 rs I am gonna have a bad time using it. There were two instances: I had always been a fan of Sony PlayStation Consoles, back when the first Sony PSP was released(that was during my summer holidays at the time of the year where I will be staying with my dad at his work place away from home), after days of fighting and crying my dad bought me one and told me that I could only use it during summer vacations when I came to his place and that I couldn't take it to home. The same thing happened when I bought another console last year and both of them right now is at my dads place. 

So to all good guy bikers out there, drive safely and always wear a helmet if possible gears too and please don't follow the main stream hype bikers with their loud fart noisy bikes because you ought to be different from them. The main thing about driving/riding on the road is GIVE RESPECT TO OTHERS AND YOU TOO WILL GET RESPECTED (you can apply this in your life too) 

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Is Growing Facial Hair/Beard a NOPE For Me?

For Lads:

If you are at teenage (I mean ages above 15.....rest of teenagers, you really are young for this beard and moustache thingy) and get this whatever grade you be in, as long as you are at an educational institution that has a "SCHOOL" at the end of its name then am sorry, it's definitely a NOPE. Whatsoever be the type of beard & moustache you have, it makes you look very oldish/uncool at school, it would totally be cool to look more like a young gentleman with clean shave at school , though some lasses find it hot for guys to have a beard however I can give you 100% guarantee that your beard is no way hot looking as these lasses are looking for. If you really really wanna grow some facial hair, try the goatee with moustache, though not very attractive or great looking, still will be better than anything else you will come up with.

*Fair warning, please don't fell offended if you did any of the acts that I am going to mention as stupid stuff because we all do these kind of things at least once in our life time(more than once actually) and I don't think it's that much of a deal. Besides this post is for your entertainment purpose only, to make you smile and happy at heart so try to read and laugh through it if you have done any of these retarded stuffs and if you really feel offended think of  OP as a big looser at life and all he does is shit on other peoples way of life.

How ever if you have grown out of your teenage or is at college the scenario is totally different. Its totally a YES for beards with NOPES for certain conditions like:

• If your facial hair is curly or short or little hair sprouting here and there don't even think about growing it, it will only look nasty and its not going to be much of a boon to your looks.
• If your hair color is ginger it's a fucking NOPE(are you really even planing to?)
• Cowlick beards is a big NOPE unless your beard is thick enough to cover it up

To you teenagers, the truth about beards is that it never looks great/attractive/hot if you are at school because you won't realize how much lame your beard looked back then until you over come teenage and hit college or whatever you be doing after high school.

Well as for college lads, beards & moustache are a great plus to cover up their ugly faces or make them look mature enough especially when they are short like me (I am 164cm~5/4). And I have heard that your college junior lasses find men with beard more hot and attractive, I don't know if this is legit, anyway beards are cool and gives you tough look so that's all good.

And if you are in college don't grow goatee and moustache, it won't make you look like Johnny Depp or that guy from Before Sunrise, you will only look like a dork/geek/nerd/seriousguy/notfriendly - not good.

So like I said School lads go with Goatee & Moustache and for college lads Beard & Moustashe is a Go. However I can't assure you that wether either of them will be looking great on you as it depends on how much less ugly you are ;)

And for under 15 lads:

You lads must be busy shaving your clean face all day to grow some facial hair. Well get this fact straight, keeping on shaving/trimming your face often won't help you with growing facial hair and whoever told you that it will is big fucking idiot. You need to take proper diet(with lots of vitamins and proteins for hair growth) and look after your face to grow facial hair faster. Good luck with that :)


Lastly for you lovely lasses:

I have nothing against you growing hair on your face or wherever you want. Its all okay. Almost every lasses in my class have small moustaches or hair under chins and they seemed to keep it that way itself and I think they like it. Its all cool as far as you are looking to get into a relationship. Most of em lads like lasses with clean shaved "where ever its possible on body".

However these are not the NopeGuy/Me is concerned about. As I said, most of us are cool with 'growing hair wherever the fuck you want' part of you lasses but what really makes you look ugly is when you put all that makeup/facial powder on your unshaved face and it almost seems like you have cats fur all over your face...a fucking white cats fur! ( Your make up turns your facial hair white, guess you lasses haven't noticed it yet)

Seriously, I hope you lasses understand what I said, so if you can't pull out from using make ups at least completely shave your face before doing it or else image a chewbacca with white fur, that's how you will be seen to close observing lads like me ;)

You lasses don't want to be seen like this

Do you?

Thanks for reading all through and here is a moustache joke for you as reward ;)

"I moustashe you a question but I will shave it for later"

PS: If you don't give a fuck about what others think of your facial hair, you are totally GOOD to go. Its actually the self confidence(about looks/everything about you) in you that matters more than any thing else.

Chewbacca image rights: http://antonvandort.deviantart.com/

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